I’ve never felt so intimidated in my life..
Paul stood confidently in front of me, looking at me like he could see past the facade. Past the image. Past the layer of superficial mindless responses that culturally built to so many of us…
“How are you?”. He asked emphasizing his sincere design to get a real answer.
I replied quickly with some version of…
“I’m great”. “Living the dream”. “Life is great”.
A mindless, superficial response that means absolutely nothing to anyone, yet I’m trained to throw them out like they actually carry weight.
He stared sharply at me…
“Tom Brady, or Toddler?” He said.
“Huh?” he had caught me off guard.
“Do you want me to treat you like Tom Brady, or a toddler?”
“Tom Brady”, I quickly replied, beginning to understand what he was getting it.
“B, you want to be the best. Stop giving me the toddler responses”.
For the next 4 hours he proceeded to ask me the hardest questions anyone has ever asked me in my life.
We pulled back the layers of noise, distraction, and superficial bullshit that I have created to avoid the conversations that I don’t want to have.
Normally, these toddler responses are warranted – I don’t want deep conversations with shallow people.
But this time was different and I knew it…
It’s not often that someone that has the skillset AND actually cares about me is willing to dig into the darkness, the shadows, the stories, and actually stick around the reveal the diamond underneath.
But this weekend with my very good friend is one of those.
The relationships I hold closest aren’t the ones that accept superficial bullshit, but instead are willing to sit in the neck deep mud and work through the masks, the armour.
I planned to get a great bike ride in, but instead spent 4+ hours this weekend pouring through the dirt that has accumulated around me and in my wake.
Why do I share this…
- Progress doesn’t come from comfort.
Find someone that is willing to push you to be your best and not accept anything less than your best. - Find someone willing to ask you the hard questions.
Stop the bullshit stories you use to rationalize your inadequacies. Benevolent leaders are all around you. Find one, or a community of people that care. - Remember, Tom Brady or Toddler?
Greatness or coddling? You can’t have both. Hold yourself to a higher standard and hold your feet to the fire.
Life is too short to not be great.
– Ben “Real Talk” Pakulski.
PS. If you want to know the list of questions we discussed, I will drop them in the Performance Counsel Newsletter on Friday.
- Listen to the latest Muscle Intelligence Podcast: Joining Ben is the world’s #1 keto expert Dr. Dominic D’Agostino – “Can the ketogenic diet prevent cancer cells?”.
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